


Famous Isn't Normal

by tisViktoria



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Danny is a bitch, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:06:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4400195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tisViktoria/pseuds/tisViktoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LaFontaine is a famous actor who comes to film a movie in their fan Lola Perry’s hometown. Elsie senses attraction between the two and interferes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Perry didn’t know why she was so _abnormally_ obsessed with this celebrity. She was never like this with anybody or _anything_ else.

It wasn’t like the actress – actor – LaFontaine even stood for something Perry was familiar with. All the… sense of being different, weird – Lola Perry was perfectly normal, thank you very much. So this unusual want to know more and be close to this celebrity, this actor, LaFontaine – was very disorienting to her.

But disoriented or not, she was a dedicated girl. When LaFontaine tweeted that they were going to be making a movie in Perry’s hometown, she immediately went to get an internship on the company responsible for the equipment. She wasn’t very handy with that sort of thing, but she would try.

 

* * *

 

LaFontaine was excited about this movie – it was about something they were actually interested in. They’d reached a point in their career where they actually could pick and choose roles instead of having to take anything offered to them, and this one was something of a dream role to them. It was a modern version of Frankenstein, where they’d be playing the transsexual Victor Frankenstein, obsessed with science and creating a monster to later plague the character forever. LaFontaine couldn’t count how many times they’d read the book by now. The only problem with the adaption would be if people tried to make the creation of the monster symbolize a sex change or something, that _that_ would haunt Frankenstein forever. That certainly was not the point.

They were on the way to the town in which they’d be making it, when their agent, Elizabeth (or as they liked to say to tease her, Betty) Spieseldorf (who they didn’t really like, but she was very professional), called them. “Hey, Bets.”

“Hey. You on your way?”

“Yup. Moving sickness included.”

“Will you be okay in time for the shooting?”

“If I’m getting shot, I don’t need to be okay, man.”

“Ha-ha- _ha_.”

“Happy to entertain. Did you want something special?”

“Yes. You know the company wants you to get _romantically involved_ with someone?”

LaFontaine sighed. The company that employed them had been on them for years – _get a girlfriend, or a boyfriend. We don’t care, it’s for your image. You need to, it’s for your career_. LaF was mighty tired of it. “Yes, I know. And you know how I feel about it. I’m not getting with someone just for the sake of it.”

“They just threatened to end the contract if you’re not with someone by the premier of _Frankenstein_.”

They sucked in a sharp breath. Despite their many fans, that company was the only company they knew that was okay with hiring a genderqueer actor. If they lost this contract, they’d most likely be back to live with their parents soon. “Fuck.”

“Sure, fuck someone. At this point a one-night-stand would do you good.”

“Shut up.”

“What about the director? She’s cute. What’s her name, Hollis?”

“I’m not having sex with the director, Betty.”

“What about the amazon playing your monster?”

“I hate Danny Lawrence.”

“Seriously.”

“I’m not gonna do it.”

“Suit yourself, it’s your career.”

“Exactly.”

They hung up, and LaF let out a long sigh. They hadn’t found anyone they’d been attracted to in years, which was disappointing in itself. Sometimes they thought they must be aromantic, but it didn’t feel like it. They’d been in love before, but not for years.

They kept hearing “you just haven’t met the right one.” The one, whatever. It didn’t feel good to think that.  LaF wanted to be able to get by on their own, without feeling down because they were alone. Usually they didn’t, until Betty reminded them.

But it was human nature, they reminded themselves. Everyone felt like this, even if they didn’t want to.

But it still sucked.

 

* * *

 

Laura Hollis was excited to make Frankenstein. She’d loved film and media since high school, and when her girlfriend got her a job at the family business _Karnstein Moving Pictures_ , founded in 1898 – she couldn’t be happier. She had Carmilla, a job she loved, and she was going to be working with S. LaFontaine (who she actually knew vaguely since college. _Awesome_ ) and Danny Lawrence. Best movie _ever_.

She arrived at the location a few days before the actors were due. She needed to set up the place where she’d be working, she needed to work out the placements of everything – and she wanted to check out the cameras. She loved cameras.

Reaching the spot, the only person around was a curly-haired girl hurrying around the place. She was probably not a lot younger than Laura herself. “Excuse me?” Laura called.

The girl stopped abruptly, looking up at Laura with a friendly smile. “Hello! Can I help you with something?”

“Probably. I’m Laura Hollis, the director.”

“Oh!” the girl yelped. “I, uh, welcome! We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow, I’m the only one here…”

“It’s okay,” Laura assured her. “I just wanted to check in early. It’s nice to meet you, though.”

The girl jumped and seemed to remember that she hadn’t introduced herself. “I’m an intern at the equipment-company. Lola Perry.”

“Nice to meet you, Lola.” They shook hands.

“It’s nice to meet you, too, miss Hollis!”

“Oh, just call me Laura.”

“Well, then, nice to meet you, Laura!”

“What do I call you?”

“Perry. Perrys’ fine.”

* * *

LaF’s first scene was one with almost all of the other castmembers – they had been scheduled to make all the flashbacks and pre-monster scenes later. They were being introduced to the actors and the crew by Laura. _Thank God for Laura Hollis_ , who made her best to make them comfortable in every possible situation.

“Danny Lawrence. Your monster.” Ginger amazon with hard eyes.

“Wilson Kirsch. Sound.” Tall jock-looking dude. Brightest smile ever.

“JP Armitage. Your Eli slash Elizabeth.” Happy-looking guy who brofisted them. They’d probably get along well.

“And the producers – I guess you already know them, since they’re from the Karnstein Moviemaking-stuff. Will Luce and Carmilla Karnstein. Both producers, Carmilla also Mrs. Director.”

The dark-haired beauty LaF had come to know through their career rolled her eyes. “Right.”

“Shut up, you love to be here.”

“Whatever you say, Cupcake.”

Laura stuck her tongue out and dragged LaF along. “Elsie, Danny’s personal assistant.”

They felt a stab of annoyance, because _of course_ Danny Lawrence would have a personal assistant. “She needs a personal assistant?”

Laura shrugged. “Seems so. You can have one too, if you want.”

“I’m cool, thanks.”

“And lastly, these three are here as interns from the equipment-company. Natalie, Sarah Jane and Perry.”

Most of the time, LaFontaine knew and recognized it when they met fans. Sarah Jane was ogling them and Natalie was very obviously trying to stay calm.

Perry was looking at them with curious eyes, as if she was truly seeing them for the first time – which they supposed she was, but usually people seemed a lot more awed. Which made this a nice change. Lola was the best thing they’d laid eyes upon all day anyway – just look at the _hair_. It was _wonderful_. “Nice to meet you, girls.” Oh God, had they really just said that? They should know better than greeting people with assumed genders and stuff by now. Fuck, and they complained when others called them a girl.

Natalie and Sarah Jane peeped up a “Hi” in unison.

“Hello”, Perry replied evenly, eyes trained on them. Looking back, they saw the incredulous blue orbs and plump lips – _oh no, don’t you dare, LaF. She’s just a girl_. They would _not_ start staring themselves blind on a minor the first day at work, no matter how cute she was.

Laura clapped her hands. “Okay, everyone, let’s get to work!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Firstly, I know that Elsie is obviously so much better than being Danny’s assistant. This will not be the focus of the story, sorry.  
> In the last chapter I conveniently ignored the fact that LaF would’ve met the whole cast at read-throughs and rehearsals, but I really wanted introductions. All facts in this fic about film-making are assumptions made by me, hence entirely untrustworthy!  
> Danny’s a bit of an ass in this, sorry about that. But it’s to make the Shartlyn headcanon real. It also happens to work well with the story.  
> Also, just for the record – the movie plot which I only touched upon briefly, is that Victor Frankenstein was born Victoria Frankenstein, but in this movie identifies as male, and changes his name to Victor. The backstory where in the original story Victor grew up with and was going to marry Elizabeth is replaced by another gender-swapped character, so that instead of Elizabeth we have Eli, played by JP. Victor’s monster who was abnormally large and gross-looking will be portrayed by makeup and prosthetics applied on Danny.  
> None of this has anything to do with the plot or the characters of the fic. LaFontaine still (again, in the fic) identifies as genderqueer and not as transsexual. That is the character they are playing. When the characters are not working, they are the same as they are on the show.  
> Anyway, now enjoy!

Only a week and a half had passed, but LaFontaine’s life already felt like it had become some sort of minor, personal hell. Not only did they have to put up with a ton of scenes with monologue from Lackwit Lawrence (a nickname they’d stolen from Carmilla Karnstein a while back), but they also had to stop themselves daily from ogling Lola Perry in front of the entire crew.

It wasn’t that the girl was a classic beauty, but she was definitely beautiful. It took effort not to strike up conversation every time they passed each other, because obviously LaF didn’t only notice looks. They were cooler than that. They had many a time overheard Lola speaking to Natalie and Sarah Jane, and upon hearing the conversations as well as the girl’s motherliness, caregiving nature and obvious warmth, they couldn’t help but adore her. They didn’t know why – previous interests of theirs had been outgoing, loud and funny. Lola was nothing like that. She was quiet but helpful, serious, but would take charge and do it well if needed. The strength that powered Lola Perry didn’t seem to come from any selfish desire to be noticed or admired. She only seemed to care that everyone around her were well. LaFontaine couldn’t help but love that.

They also couldn’t help feeling like a creep, thinking of this girl who looked younger than eighteen. They were twenty-four, dammit, they could control themselves.

When they arrived to set on a chilly Tuesday morning, ready to listen to another part of Lawrence’s endless speech, they found the scene all but empty. There was usually a lot of people, but now there was only six of them, excluding LaF. Lawrence, Lawrence’s assistant, Kirsch, Laura, Carmilla Karnstein and Lola Perry. The camera crew would probably turn up later.

They took a deep breath. They had yet to be intimidated by Perry’s presence, but it was still slightly nerve-wracking, even if they wouldn’t admit it. They went up to Laura and her girlfriend. “Hey, Laura. Carmilla.”

“Hey, LaF! Today is the same as yesterday – obviously – I just need you to look a bit wearier, you know, since more time has passed?”

They yawned. “Yeah, no problem.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow. “Stunning performance, Carrot Top.”

They’d grown used to the nicknames over the years. “Any time, Sunshine.” Still, the best comebacks they had for Carmilla were sugar-sweet names that Carmilla used for her own girlfriend, and they didn’t even bother the broody woman anymore.

Wilson Kirsch walked – or rather skipped – over, with Lola Perry on his heels and Danny Lawrence (trailed by Elsie tapping away on her phone) trailing after them, looking surly.

Kirsch piped up. “Laura, Danny – _Miss Lawrence_ says there’s a problem with the mics.”

Laura’s eyes widened. “What? There was nothing wrong yesterday!”

“There was”, Lawrence muttered. “You couldn’t hear what I was saying in the playback.”

Kirsch nodded. “Yeah, but you _could_ hear LaFontaine.”

LaF frowned. “We were using the same microphone. There’s probably nothing wrong with it, you just need to speak louder.”

Danny whirled to face them. “What was that? Are you saying there’s something wrong with my performance?”

LaF sighed. They were not in the mood to even be here, and they definitely didn’t need Danny Lawrence picking fights with them. “No.”

“Sure sounded like it.”

“Forget I said anything.”

Danny glared at LaF, then turned to point at Kirsch. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

Laura frowned. “Danny –“

Danny shook her head stubbornly. “I want someone to look at the mic.”

A ginger head of curls stated a quick “I’ll do it!” before hurrying off. LaF wished they could go after her.

“Danny, that was unnecessary. If you can hear LaF, there’s no need to look at the mic.”

“Yes there is, there has to be _something_!”

Kirsch rolled his eyes, “What, it likes their voice more than yours? That’s stupid!”

LaFontaine didn’t continue listening. Instead, they slowly left the scene, trailing Lola Perry’s footsteps.

They found her in a small tent full of wires and equipment. “Hey.” It was the first time they’d spoken to her directly.

Perry jumped almost violently, and turned around in a flash. “H-hi!” She stammered. “Did you need anything?”

They shook their head. “You don’t have to look at the mics, this is just Lawrence being an asshole. Figured you might want some company if you’re not actually needed to do anything.” _Wow, LaF, way to not force yourself at her_ …

Perry brightened. “Oh, thank you! But I’ll still have a look. Just to be sure.”

LaF carefully averted their gaze as Perry bent over to reach for something in one of the piles. _Don’t be a creep_. “Are you really so into recording equipment that you look at fine mics just for fun?”

The answer came out muffled, without the laugh LaF had been hoping for. “In my spare-time? No.”

“But here, you are?” _That didn’t sound stupid at_ all _. Good job._

Perry straightened up with a triumphing smile on her face, holding something to her chest. “I can’t say that technology is my strong suit.”

“What is your strong suit?” they asked curiously.

“Baking, I suppose.” She started untangling the messy wires attached to the microphone she was holding.

“Let me help with that.” LaFontaine stepped closer to help. “That’s cool, what do you bake?”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to help!”

LaF smiled at her. “I want to. Give me the end of the wire and tell me what you like to bake.”

Perry smiled wryly and handed the end of one wire to them with a nervous chuckle. “Thanks. Brownies, mostly. It was the first thing I learnt to do, but I still find it the most fun. Tell me if you see anything weird on the wire, like a gap or a split.”

“Will do. Also, brownies are amazing.”

The girl smiled brightly, and LaF wilfully ignored the extra heartbeat that occurred in their ribcage. “You think? Most people think I’m incredibly ridiculous – out of college and still baking brownies with sprinkles and doing internships.”

LaF was about to die of all the adorable emitting from Perry, unknowing of the fact that Lola herself was mentally beating herself up for sharing that particular piece of information.

“It’s cute”, LaFontaine said when they realised that _out of college_ meant Perry was certainly not a minor, so they asked, not noticing the blush on the curly-haired girl’s face from their earlier words, “Hey, how old are you?”

Perry stood a little straighter. “Twenty-two.”

 _Two years_? They were only _two freaking years_ apart?

LaF let out a loud, barking laugh. “Oh God, I thought you were a minor!”

“What?” a smile broke out across Perry’s face. “Why?”

“You’re an intern, and you look – no offence – you look younger than twenty-two! That’s a good thing”, they assured her.

“So you –” Perry blushed even more, “you were thinking about how old I am?”

LaF blushed too, lightly so. “I, uh, yeah.”

The curly head tilted to one side curiously. “Why?”

 _What the hell, the awkwardness would only last as long as the filming. Not too long_. They would regret this. But avoiding one intern during filming wasn’t that hard. “Because you’re really pretty.”

“You – you’re just saying that to be nice to me.”

“N-no, I’m not, well – I wanna be nice to you but that’s not why I’m saying it!”

“God, you heard I’m a fan of yours, didn’t you? Is that why?”

“L – Perry, calm down.” The curly-headed girl was getting worked up, and they were cursing themselves in their head. Why couldn’t they just stay _normal_ about things for once? “I didn’t know if you were a fan or not, I just… I just thought you were pretty. You _are_ pretty.”

Lola Perry was putting the statement of frying eggs on one’s cheeks to shame in that moment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I can’t believe I didn’t cast JP as the monster SO LAF COULD FRANKENSTEIN HIM INTO LIFE. Oh well, too late.  
> 2\. I guess people aren’t always this articulate with texting, but I am. This chapter is a lot of texting, I’m sorry about that.  
> 3\. Also I’d like to say that I can’t keep the characters completely to their canon selves, or these people would never get anywhere.  
> 4\. I’d like to say that there’s no way I can’t have this part sound ridiculous. I can’t write a celebrity and a fan being interested in a non-cheesy or weird way. So bear with me for now.   
> Enjoy!

Elsie chose that second to poke her head into the tent. “You two done soon? They’re ready to start. Wilson fixed the not-broken mic. It’s Swag o’clock. Get your asses going.”

LaF chuckled awkwardly, sort of happy that Elsie had chosen that moment to come find them. They shot a look at Perry (still blushing) and mumbled something non-committal before they went past Elsie to leave the tent. Or, they would have, if Elsie hadn’t grabbed their arm to stop them.

“Hey, Ginger Curls. LaFon- _lame_ here obviously wants to take you out or something, but they’re too shy to ask and I can see that you’re too blush-y right now to reply so just tell me a yes or no by the end of the day, ‘kay?”

They both stared at her incredulously.

“Elsie, I will _kill_ you,” LaFontaine stated matter-of-factly.

“Yes,” Perry blurted out.

“There, I’ve got help to bury you. You are _so dead_.”

Elsie hit their shoulder. “She’s saying yes to your date, dumbass.”

Perry’s face returned to its tomato-like state. “Oh, I, no I didn’t mean to assume, I’m sorry. Nevermind, I–”

LaF looked at her, face full of surprise. “Really?”

Perry looked confused now. “What?”

“You’d go on a date with me?”

“ _You’d_ go on a date with _me_?”

“Well, ye-”

Elsie interrupted loudly. “ _Seriously_ , this is very cute and all, but we ain’t got time. Swag o’clock means it’s _time-to-do-what-Elsie-says_ o’clock. Come _on_.” And they were being dragged off to set, entirely un-focused on their work.

 

* * *

 

Laura smiled to herself. LaFontaine had come back from the tent in a dazed, smile-y sort of state, and she could only imagine why, but it was ruining the melancholic mood that the scene required.

“LaF, come over here.”

LaF kinda skipped over. Almost. _The LaFontaine didn’t skip._ “Yeah?”

She smiled happily at them. “I’m happy you’re happy, but that dreamy smile of yours doesn’t really fit in _anywhere_ in the whole my-monster-is-telling-me-about-its-life-crisis situation.”

“Oh.” LaF’s smile dropped for just a second. “Sorry. I’ll get gloomy. Just a sec.”

“What happened, anyway?” Laura asked curiously.

“Oh, uh, it’s kinda weird. It was a weird situation. Elsie set me up with Perry.”

“The intern? Like a _date_?”

“Shh!” they hushed, but they looked way too happy for Laura to take that seriously. She cooed loudly. “Oh my God, this is the cutest thing I’ve ever witnessed!”

“You haven’t _seen_ anything, L.”

“I’m seeing _you_ , and you’re being lovesick all on your own!”

“Laura, _please_. I’ve ‘known’ this girl for what, a week? You’re reading way into my mood which isn’t even an I’ve-got-a-date mood. I don’t think I _actually_ have.”

“Your Yes-I’ve-totally-got-a-date-mood looks a lot like a smitten puppy right now.”

“ _Stop_ it. I just like her a bit. Besides, I thought you were a cat person.”

“Irrelevant.”

“Laura, we need to get back to filming. You’ve successfully calmed me down, no more dreamy smiles.” They went back to their spot beside Danny, shaking their head as they made their way over. Laura was a ball of energy and an adorable dork, and they loved her, but they felt like she was going to create many an awkward moment on set from now on.

By the end of the day, when they were in their trailer washing all the makeup off, there was a knock before someone entered without waiting shamelessly. Elsie stood there with a smug smirk on her face (as always). “I got her number for you.”

“Uhm. Thanks. You’re being really presumptuous here, you know.”

“Nah, I’m just being not dense and an owner of two eyes. It’s clear as day that I’m doing you a pretty huge favour.”

“Whatever you say, Blondie.”

 

* * *

 

 

Perry was panicking more than a little inside as she made her way home through the dark streets. Elsie had made it a point to tell  _LaFontaine_ that she liked them, and it was obviously true and they hadn’t seemed too put off by it, but the offer to go on a date was swirling around in her brain like old milk, ruining everything it touched with the panicked feelings. She _was maybe possibly no stop definitely probably not going on a date with LaFontaine_ . Okay, no, she definitely wasn’t, but it  _had_ been almost discussed. It was the most unreal thing she’d ever thought, the most ridiculous thought to have ever crossed her mind, but it was  _true_ . Unless she’d dreamt it, the whole conversation in the shed where they’d actually sounded surprised that she would want to go on a date with them. As if  _that_ was the unbelievable part.

Her phone _bing_ ed, and she screwed her eyes shut. She was worked up about this already but it _didn’t_ mean that Else was somehow going to make anything happen – sure, it had sort of sounded that way, if you squinted, but she shouldn’t get her hopes up.

 **Unknown number (10:46 pm):** _Hey, this is LaFontaine. Elsie gave me your number, I hope that’s okay. You weren’t around when I left, so I guess you’ve gone home?_

Okay, so this was definitely Elsie playing a prank on her.

**Elsie SAID this was Lola Perry’s number (10:48 pm):** _Elsie, this is not funny._

**Elsie, NOT LaFontaine (10:49 pm):** _It’s not Elsie, I swear. It’s me._

**Elsie SAID this was Lola Perry’s number (10:49 pm):** _Exactly what Elsie would say._

**Elsie, NOT LaFontaine (10:50 pm):** _Would you believe me if I tweeted it?_

**Definitely Lola Perry (10:50 pm):** _No. If Elsie has the phone, Elsie also has the twitter app._

She got no reply on that one – until her phone buzzed with a different kind of notification, a Twitter one. She clicked on it and found a selfie LaFontaine had taken in a bathroom mirror so that you could see their phone along with a clock on the wall, showing almost five to eleven. She smiled to herself and felt a deep blush creep onto her cheeks. _Holy Snickerdoodles._

**Definitely Lola Perry (10:54 pm):** _Fine. I’m embarrassed now._

**Really LaFontaine?? (10:55 pm):** _Don’t be. This is Elsie we’re talking about._

 **Definitely Lola Perry (10:56 pm):** _True. She’s definitely something. And to answer your first question, no. I’m about five minutes from home._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (10:58 pm):** _This late? How far from set do you live?_

 **Definitely Lola Perry (10:59 pm):** _A thirty-minute bus ride and a fifteen minute walk._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:00 pm):** _Oh. It’s really dark though, are you OK?_

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:00 pm):** _Yes, I’m used to it. Besides, it’s not really civilized._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:01 pm):** _How so? Do you live with a coven of cavemen?_

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:03 pm):** _I wouldn’t call my family cavemen, but my brother could give the Flintstones a run for their money._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:03 pm):** _Haha! Sorry for accidentally calling your family cavemen._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:04 pm):** _So, what do you do when you’re home with them and not looking at the not-broken mics on set?_

How the hell was this a thing that was happening right now? Her fingers were shaky.

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:06 pm):** _Oh, not much. I quit my old job for this internship, which used to take up most of my time, so now they’re just annoyed I’m not bringing cupcakes and donuts home anymore._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:06 pm):** _Did you work at a bakery?_

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:07 pm):** _Yes, I did._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:07 pm):** _Do you miss it?_

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:08 pm):** _Sometimes. But I definitely appreciate seeing how films are made. It’s something I never really thought I’d be so fascinated by._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:09 pm):** _Why did you go for this internship then? If you liked the bakery?_

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:15 pm):** _It seemed interesting. And Frankenstein has been a favourite classic of mine since high school English._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:16 pm):** _Really? Not to be presumptuous, but you seem like more of an Austen kind of girl._

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:20 pm):** _Austen is amazing, but there is enough family drama in the real world. My absolute favourite classic is Wuthering Heights – like Frankenstein, it features realistic (save for the monster) struggles and consequences._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:21 pm):** _Word. I always liked Frankenstein and Dracula. Supernatural AND science? Win win._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:21 pm):** _What’s your favourite book that’s not a classic, then?_

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:23 pm):** _That’s a tricky one. It’s been a while since I read anything not school-related. But… it would have to be the Harry Potter books, actually._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:23 pm):** _Siriusly? Mine too, what’s your house?_

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:23 pm):** _Proud Hufflepuff, you?_

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:24 pm):** _Ravenpuff. The houses are too narrow for one to fit all of me._

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:24 pm):** _Of course, you’re quite the character._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:25 pm):** _Is that an actor pun? However I’m also big because I eat a lot._

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:26 pm** ): _You look perfectly healthy to me – like everybody should. The world would be a better place if everyone had to eat three full-course meals per day. Not to mention a healthy breakfast._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:26 pm):** _RIGHT, I mean, McDonald’s has breakfast AND drive-in for a reason._

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:27 pm):** _That is the opposite of a healthy breakfast._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:27 pm):** _Come on, have you ever had a McMuffin?_

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:28 pm):** _Certainly not._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:29 pm):** _Are you serious? Alright, I don’t care what Elsie said or if you want to go on a date or not, I’m buying you a McMuffin sometime._

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:31 pm):** _I doubt a McDonald’s “breakfast” counts as a date, but do feel free._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:32 pm):** _Apart from the intentions with it, why wouldn’t a McDonald’s breakfast be a date? Breakfast dates are the best inventions ever._

 **Definitely Lola Perry (11:33 pm):** _Maybe so, but if you’re taking me to McDonald’s for breakfast, I get to take you somewhere with real food, too._

 **Really LaFontaine?? (11:34 pm):** _Second breakfast is the only kind of double date that has ever interested me._

Oh dear God, she was going to regret this when Elsie popped up somewhere and bragged about tricking her.


End file.
